Oh Love. Why are you so elusive?
Most of us don’t wish to play elusive love games. Rather, we get just sucked into them and we have no idea how to avoid them.
This single girl has come across her fair share of different men to date. The player. The guy just getting out of relationship who didn’t want anything serious but gets upset if you’re dating other men. The user. The abuser. The loser. Then, there is the one who comes along and he seems to be of good potential. At first, he seems attentive, regularly communicates, spends quality time but only enough to feign interest. Immediately, after a date or two, he wants to be “exclusive”…wanting you all to himself without earning that privilege. An agreement to be monogamous is made. Then, once that agreement is made, shortly thereafter he begins to back off… showing less interest over a short period of time. He starts cancelling plans, refusing to hold up his end of the “exclusivity” bargain, he no longer texts those sweet nothings “Hi honey just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and I miss you!”, and so on. Ladies, such behaviors are just an act! Next thing you know, weeks go by before seeing each other again. No weekends together, no planned outings or trips. He mentions introducing you to his friends, but never does. How many red flags does a single girl see before running away, and fast? Then, in one fateful phone call (if you’re lucky), he asks “can we just be friends?” What self-respecting woman would accept this kind of behavior? You’d be surprised.
Unfortunately, there are many broken people in the dating pool, both men and women alike, and it seems to get more prevalent as we age. While one can profess to have “standards” and won’t reduce themselves to be treated in a disrespectful way, it happens especially when the love goggles are firmly affixed to one’s face. The love goggles eventually come off, and then what? Where does that leave most of us? Disenchanted? Disappointed? Down right hurt?! Yes! All of the above. No wonder there are so may disgruntled people in the dating pool.
Then we start all over again…
Where do we all get the strength to continue this cycle? Is it the never-ending quest to find love and be happy? Perhaps. Or maybe we’re hopeless romantics. There is nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. The important thing is not to lose yourself in this cycle. Always remember who you are and maintain standards for which you, yourself, abide by. No one has the right to take your standards away nor do you have to reduce them for anyone. Just be reasonable and true to yourself.
Have hope and faith. Know that the right person will come along if you keep your heart and eyes open. Faith that God will put all of us in the right path for one another. For my fellow single people out there – men and women alike – who are good, down-to-earth people and who treat others with respect, don’t give up! He or she is out there. You will find him or her. In the meantime, be happy with yourself and know who you are as a person. Doing so is fundamental and opens the door to meeting the right person. No one person completes you. Only you complete you. Find someone who compliments you, where you each listen to one another and grow, and most importantly, offer each other real, sustainable love.